Lessons through Cancer
Three years ago, I took a trip to Tampa, Florida after being asked by Indian Creek Church to kick off their Emotional Victory women’s study. It was the first time this kind of opportunity had presented itself since the book had been published, I was excited for the open door! During the same week, Pastor Sam and his wife, Cheryl, happened to be visiting Living Faith Tampa for the church plant’s anniversary. Travelling with them and reconnecting with Living Faith Tampa added to the blessing of this ministry adventure! While in Tampa, my ribs started hurting, but having just recovered from a light case of COVID, I figured the pain was from the extensive coughing. After returning to Kansas City, Pastor Brandon invited me to do a Postscript interview with him about Emotional Victory. Thinking back, it was an exciting and fruitful season!
However, despite recovering from COVID, the pain in my ribs got worse. I decided to visit my chiropractor, but even after a month of visits, the chiropractic treatments did not help. In fact, the pain began spreading all over my body and was so severe I could barely bend over or walk. Finally, my chiropractor, along with Dr./Pastor Best, advised me to see a regular MD.
At the time, I didn’t have a primary care physician, so it took several weeks to find a doctor who could fit me into their schedule. I got in for an appointment and described my pain and symptoms, but the doctor did not empathize and even accused me of just wanting painkillers. This was not the case, I generally try to use natural remedies and was somewhat against using prescription drugs. In the end, the new doctor agreed to do blood work. On Thursday, March 17, 2022, two days after the blood draw, the doctor’s office called me at work and said, “Ms. Molder, we just received your blood work results. You are in severe kidney failure. You need to get to the emergency room right away!”
The call was a complete shock, I didn’t know what to do or where to go. I was a few months away from my 65th birthday, I hadn’t been a hospital patient since birth. I called my good friend, Rylee, a nurse at KU, and she advised me to go home, pack a bag, and get someone to take me to the hospital. After sending out a ride request, Jeanette, Jessica, and Charity immediately showed up at my place to help pack and drive me to the hospital.
Jeanette and Jessica took me to the emergency room at KU, while Charity stayed at my place to take care of my dog, Koko. After waiting three hours, the doctors took me to an examination room. Rylee had just finished her shift and was waiting in the room, she sat with me while the doctors figured out what to do. I was admitted to the hospital around midnight, x-rays were taken of every bone in my body. They put me on several IVs and gave me high doses of steroids, which meant I would get little to no sleep for the next few days. Rylee stayed with me the first night and explained everything that was going on (she also kept me smiling!). God gave me Proverbs 3:5-6 and told me to stop leaning on my own healthy remedies and to trust the doctors. The next day, I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma (MM), an incurable blood cancer.
The first challenge to face was the reality of death. There was a strong chance I may not make it out of the hospital. The fact that we are all going to physically die someday is not something we think about often, but a reality we must all face. Fortunately, I had come to grips with this fact many years before. At the age of 26, I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal savior and was born again. Almost 40 years later, laying in excruciating pain in the hospital, I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that I was on my way to be with Jesus!
Seven days later, after massive doses of steroids and IV fluids, my kidneys recovered and I was released from the hospital. I was set up with a nearby MM specialist who scheduled a series of immunotherapy appointments. By God’s grace, I learned there were only two multiple myeloma specialists within 400 miles of KC, and both were at KU! One happened to be my hospital doctor and the other became my cancer treatment doctor. It was a miracle to be in a hospital that specialized in my type of cancer! Thank you, Jesus! It was a miracle to be assigned to both doctors who specialized in MM! It was a miracle to receive approval from my insurance for the doctor’s recommended treatments (initially I received push-back). Praise the Lord! I have seen many blessings, miracles, and answered prayers over the past three years.
Since getting saved, my life has been filled with ministry and I love it! But as the therapies and treatments progressed, my body became limited and so did my ministry involvement. The Lord made it clear it was time to rest and be ministered to. Admittedly, this was hard at first, however, it became a joy to receive so much support! During this season of rest, there have been numerous friends and family helping me, supporting me, and praying for me! I would like to take this opportunity to extend a huge THANK YOU to them all! I know this is why there have been so many victories and miracles throughout this cancer journey (Php 1:19-20).
A few years before the diagnosis, I went through a valley of caring for my mom through her Alzheimer’s journey. Through that season, God had gave me promises about how “suffering was not for nothing” and showed me the keys to getting through times of suffering are prayer, acceptance, and gratitude. Like His Word says, we are to thank Him in and for everything (Eph 5:20; 1Th 5:18). “Everything” includes the hardest of times, because we know God works all things together for good to those who love Him (Rom 8:28-29)! Cancer is not good, but our God is! He can give us peace that “passeth all understanding” amidst our sufferings (Php 4:6-7). He can keep us in the eye of the storm, while chaos rages around us! As I prayed for grace (2 Co 9:8) to thank Him through this storm and asked for guidance and clarity about what He wanted to show me, He was faithful to show me several key principles and reminders.
The first was that He was with me in this valley of pain the same as He was with me in past mountaintop ministry experiences. I have journeyed to Israel numerous times. During my most recent trip, my hotel room was on the 8th floor with floor-to-ceiling windows on the eastern wall; my room overlooked the entire city of Jerusalem! Watching the sun come up over Jerusalem for five days was magnificent, it was a time of deep personal fellowship with the Lord. This was probably one of my most memorable times of prayer, scripture meditation, and consecration to the Lord.
In the hospital, I “happened” to be moved to the 8th floor of KU’s new building. The room had floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the Kansas City metro! Lo and behold, despite my horrific pain, God used this setting to remind me of my special time with Him in Jerusalem. I could not help but hear the Holy Spirit whispering to my heart, “As I was with you on the mountaintop in Jerusalem, I am with you here through this valley!” Hebrews 13:5b “For he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” Philippians 4:12-13 “I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” God’s ways are not our ways (Isa 55:8-9), and He promises He will not allow us to be tempted more than we are able. He will always make a way of escape (1Co 10:13), and He did!
Despite being prescribed morphine, steroids, opioids, etc., the pain was still severe. However, amidst the pain, I found true comfort in God’s presence and words. I later learned the MM had caused innumerable lesions in almost all my bones from head to toe, taking months to heal. Fortunately, in time, I was able to reduce the medication to light painkillers and did not develop any addictions. Through the pain, God reminded me He exists outside of time, my life’s circumstances do not impact the fact that He is always the same and always with me (Heb 13:5-6,8)! Whether on the mountaintop in Jerusalem or in great pain in KC, my God, the Father of all comfort, the Creator of the universe, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, was right there with me. Our Lord is the lily of the valley, His grace was and is sufficient. I remember Nurse/Pastor James Fyffe told me that science has discovered that chronic pain can be reduced by focusing on positive times of extreme joy. Yet again, science is one step behind our God! “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee” (Isa 26:3)!
In Isaiah 50:10, the Lord taught me another great principle: do not forget in the darkness the many promises He had given me in the light! “Who is among you that feareth the LORD, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness, and hath no light? let him trust in the name of the LORD and stay upon his God.” What God begins in the light, He develops through the darkness, as we lean in on His promises. We are to walk by faith, not by sight (2 Co 5:7). 2 Corinthians 4 teaches us this truth and is a great place to hang out during times of dark storms. Our storms are only for a moment compared to eternity. Eventually they will end, and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Through these valleys, God is simply saying to us again and again “Trust Me. Will you trust Me?” Each storm, every valley, every suffering is an opportunity for a deeper level of trust and growth in our God, our Lord and Savior, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and His word!
There have been many times over the past three years I have had to sit back and do nothing but rest, wait, and trust in His promises. Again, at first this seemed difficult, but God is able! All He asks us to do is be willing to trust His promises through the circumstances He has allowed in our lives and to keep walking by faith with Him (2Co 8:12, 9:8). I began learning that letting others minister to me was a tremendous blessing to them! Many ladies I had ministered to, ladies I considered spiritual daughters, wanted to help! This was a blessing to me.
The last verse in Isaiah 50 reminded me not to try and make something happen, but to wait patiently, rest, and keep trusting for His next step in His timing. He repeats this lesson in Isaiah 40:28-31, “Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. 29 He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. 30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: 31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” God makes it very clear, His love for us is constant. He is always with us, whether we are heavily involved in ministry or resting and waiting on Him in times of healing.
Cancer can be an emotional rollercoaster. Periodically taking groups through Emotional Victory over Zoom helped me get through the constant ups and downs. Eight months after my initial treatments, I was in partial remission. They speculated the remission could last several years. My hopes were high, but after just six months, the cancer markers rose again and a tumor was quickly growing behind my eye. I had to return to treatment. They tried several different types of intense chemotherapy, but my body was having difficulty holding up. Instead, they decided to try a new procedure called CAR-T Therapy, which involves extracting and modifying my T-cells to fight my specific cancer. It would require 24-hour supervision from a caregiver and several months of isolation while my immunity was rebuilt. By God’s grace, He provided my good friend and spiritual daughter, Charity, to stay with me (she lives up to her name!). The procedure took place in March of 2024, exactly one year ago and exactly two years after the initial diagnosis. To all who prayed for me throughout this journey, thank you! I so appreciate all the support!
The therapy was successful and I have been without any cancer treatments for over a year now! They still monitor my numbers closely through monthly blood work. I am hoping and praying for continued remission until Jesus returns, but I know I am in God’s hands. I trust His timing and purposes. If the MM comes back, I know the Lord will continue to give guidance every step of the way. “And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee saying, This the way, walk ye in it...” (Isa 30:21).
Another milestone of this past year was retiring from employment at Midtown Baptist Temple. I was employed at MBT since it began as a Bible study and grew from a church plant into a church-planting church. The timing of my retirement had been up-in-the-air for a while, but the cancer diagnosis helped me realize it was time to transition out of some things, including my job. This was difficult for me, letting go can be hard, especially when your job and ministry are so closely connected to your local church. But through the decision to retire, the Lord reminded me that no matter my role or title, Jesus and His Word are at the center. Amazingly, by following God’s direction, these changes led to the opening of new doors of ministry opportunity at numerous churches. God reminded and showed me that whenever our Lord closes one door, He always opens others!
God has been so good and faithful throughout this cancer journey over the past three years. His grace is sufficient! For the believer, our suffering is not in vain. All of us are either going through a storm, coming out of a storm, or resting before the next storm. God has something He wants to accomplish through each storm in our lives. We may not always see or understand why, but we know He is good, even in our most difficult times. For those of us who are born again, we are as close to hell as we will ever be here on this earth. Our perspective is everything! No matter what kind of storm we face, the battle is in our mind. We know Jesus said, “It is finished” and we have read and know the ending! We know our Lord is coming back to receive us unto Himself and wants to accomplish something for His glory through us before that day! We just need to keep our eyes on the prize – HIM (Php 3:10-14)!
Deb Molder serves faithfully at Midtown Baptist Temple in Kansas City, MO and is the author of Emotional Victory.